"I want to get to heaven out of breath, having willingly done anything that you--God of the universe--ask . . . anything." [Pg 78] It doesn't seem possible that events which precipitated my mother's Alzheimer's diagnosis happened nearly 13 years ago. It seems like yesterday, but of course, it wasn't. As I mentioned last week, there are moments we tuck away which seem immune from the ravages of time. They remain vivid, as we experienced them, in all their glory ~ or agony. Thirteen years ago I had begun Bible college and had re-entered the work force to pay for that schooling. Our youngest son was doing well in school and my husband liked his job. It was a time when our family couldn't have wanted more, then the call came. In the days and weeks following that call the preparations to take on my mom's care ramped up. Work on her small home on our property was at full speed. And even though surrounding events had some order and path, the more time I spent with my mom the larger her deficits seemed. I finally made the difficult decision to quit my job. Although it would make Bible college impossible, I couldn't deny that she was unable to function well, but I believed that God would keep his promises ~ even though none of it looked possible anymore. Months later, when what was still ahead of me appeared larger than anything I could do, I walked around what would become mom's house. I prayed, I cried, I tried to understand. I had quit my job. I was dropping out of Bible college at the break. And my mom, she was dying of a terrible disease that I couldn't stop. My mind felt numb, my feet like weights. I looked down trying to will them to move, but they were frozen. Then on the sod under my feet, I saw an image of a road and the white centerline. Without a word, without questions, I understood I was in the center of God's plan. I knew that I was doing what pleased Him even though it had cost my dreams. Did my mom die? Yes. Did I have to quit Bible College. Yes. Did I learn lessons about life and death that are irreplaceable? Absolutely. So, it has been 13 years already. But those years have been filled with healing, growth, bible college, seminary, writing, prayer ~ and hope. I had said yes when it was really tough, but His will was the best thing I could have chosen. Have you made a difficult decision that put you in the middle of God's road? Have you given up something precious to do what you believed He wanted you to do? What did you learn from that sacrifice? ~ Andi
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