“You have to thank God for the seemingly good and the seemingly bad because really, you don’t know the difference.” [Pg 59] This is a child’s wish list, and if these things came about, well, they would be awesome and exactly what this little one had wished for. As adults we know in life there is also a list called: My Not-Wished-For List. I remember when I used to make wish lists as a little girl. I had a list for what I wanted to be when I grew up. A list for what I would like to look like (noting that any shape would be good after having none for so long). Well, I didn't get many of those wishes when I was little. Wish lists today are more complicated. Although shorter, they're complex in their desires and reasonings. They revolve around things like joy and health, nearness to my family and time ~ time here to watch the littlest ones in our family grow up. Today I don’t go around wishing bad things for myself, however, being a student of life and spirituality I have found that many things I didn’t wish for in my life (which I TOTALLY GOT) have in fact, turned out to be some of the best things that ever happened to me. Go figure. Jenni writes, "You have to thank God for the seemingly good and the seemingly bad because really, you don’t know the difference." Just like my lists as a little girl those things I think I can't live without today may NOT end up being the very best for me. Are we supposed to be happy about the not-wished-for things that God allows? Jenni sums it up: It's not about the 'good' or the 'bad' things in our life, it's about being so in love with God, so submitted that 'anything' God wants for us is on our wish list. At the same time God gives us courage, and wisdom, and endurance, and hope showing us just how much we can be when we set Him first. Do you have a Not-Wished-For list? What would be on it? What things on that list would you now willingly admit were for your good? ~Andi
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"...He wants us to press through our doubts [about heaven] so we can see the other eternal story going on, of which we are actually a crucial part. ... It is going on now--angels and God and heaven and us--and I wish that would become our normal." [Pg 48] In this chapter Jenni is talking about coming to an awareness of the unseen reality that exists along side the one we see ~ to give it significant space in our life. When my mother (who suffered with Alzheimer's) was in her last year of life she became increasingly separated from me and this life. I tried to hold her in my world. I would think to myself,"If she would just listen to me she would see..." But that wasn't true. She no longer saw this world, or her life, as she once had. Her context had shifted and previous family roles were gone. ALL she saw was what was ahead. I read about the dying process around the time of her death. What I found repeated in all these books was that once a person accepts death, they have to let go of this life. My point is not that we have to be facing a terminal illness to see into the spiritual realm, and the future we are promised. My point is that when we are willing to let go of what WE see as our life, and it's purpose, along with those things that we hold dear ~ God can re-structure our focus ~ showing us more than we could ever see before. My mother saw something perhaps like the picture above. Heaven had been here all the time. She saw and talked about that. When we do, our whole life will change. "As he did with every believer, he gave me something to make him bigger. ... " [Pg 39] I love this: "... he gave me something to make him bigger." How awesome is that? I have something, YOU have something that can make God bigger for someone else. That's so God. For the longest time I tried to think of things I could do that would make a big difference for God. I thought I had nothing to give because I thought it had to be something special. When I was older I was exposed to people who were just crazy-in-love with God. Their love, their over-the-top love for God helped me see what life-changing faith looked like. I began to realize that something special might not be doing something big, it might be something totally different. Then there were the books I began reading, books written because of love, that spoke to my heart revealing new God-truths I hadn't seen before. There were songs, sung because of love, on Christian radio that would pierce a new area of my heart. I can't leave out the lessons of simple love, given because of love, from my friends who cradled me when my mom was dying of Alzheimers. They loved me, prayed for me and quietly held me when I just needed to cry. I finally realized what something special really was. The something special that he gave me and you is just BEING love to others because our love for Him is so great. From that immense, special love everything else grows. So my take-away this week, "...he gave me something to make him bigger" helps me remember that sharing the love of Christ, in whatever way God has given, is that something special we can all give. Has someone shared something special with you? Have you given that something special to another? "When I curl up on my sofa with God and his Word, that feeling that makes me want to bolt should be the feeling that keeps me there with him. It's the weight of my sin pushing me down from the high and lofty places where my pride would rather keep me... " [Pg 30] I love this passage! Have you had the feeling Jenni is talking about? Have you felt that desperate desire to run and hide from God. You know he knows what you did or said? Your heart is so heavy, the guilt almost unbearable. I was way past thirty when I was finally saw the effect guilt had. God showed me that His grace applied to me ~ and that guilt had separated me from Him. Being overwhelmed by guilt had led me to lose sight of God and his grace. That's called condemnation. Condemnation says: You can't make up for your mistakes. It yells in our head: You’re guilty! God can’t love you! There's no way to move forward after what you’ve done. But that's a lie! Christ died for my sins! And I was worthy of God's grace and forgiveness! Conviction is what God wanted me to feel because conviction is a good thing... (although it’s not always easy). Conviction is an alert. It’s a flagger on the highway telling you there’s construction ahead. Slow down. Pay attention. You’re coming up on a work zone with an opportunity to grow. Conviction brings awareness of a sin and tells you 'hey, we've got a problem we need to fix,' and this is the place GOD ALWAYS WANTS TO START because until the guilt beat-you-up stops, you can't see the true problem that caused the sin. They are two different words with two hugely different purposes. Condemnation separates. Conviction empowers and brings healing. Which one do you choose? Accept grace. Let guilt go. How did you feel about this week's reading? Have you experienced a similar moment? |
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